he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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