Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
