i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
