My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
