Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
