And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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