Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
