i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize