I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
