and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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