I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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