Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
