If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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