yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
