There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
