You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
