so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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