you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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