She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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