Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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