You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize