i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He literally asked permission to hit on me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
