dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
