do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
