Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
