we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
