My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
