omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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