It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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