Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
God, I missed his penis.
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