My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's get the cat blown out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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