we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
