hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
