how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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