They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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