I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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