I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You're like the curious george of whores
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
