is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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