Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
