There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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