Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
