I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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