Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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