The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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