my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize