addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i need some magic done to my vagina
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
