so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
