I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
