escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
