My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
