take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
