me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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