I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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