someone get that fucking seahorse.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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