It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
